


Soulless

by Tarkana



Category: Tommy Ratliff (Musician)
Genre: Devil Child, F/M, Immortal, Other, Tommy Joe Ratliff - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-02-06
Updated: 2013-03-09
Packaged: 2017-11-28 09:52:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 24,975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/673079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tarkana/pseuds/Tarkana
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Tommy lost his previous life in all ways possible, he sets out for revenge quickly living a life of solitude and depression. His lifestyle calls the attention the locals surrounding his home in many myths and legends. Its these stories that lead Kylie to venture beyond the locked gates and attempt to discover the truth behind the mysterious walls of Lindale Manor.</p><p>~* Story Clip *~ <br/>“That is the agreement, that is the deal. Are you really in a place to bargain with me child? Do you not wish to take vengeance upon those who have harmed your love? I would not be standing here if you had not called.” <br/>I couldn’t believe him, I called him? That I could not believe, sure with my dying breath I remember swearing pain and revenge but how was I to know some creep would show up. Offering me exactly that. A chance at life once more – correction, a half-life, living out the rest of the world’s life in darkness, pain and shadow. <br/>“Is there nothing I can do? Please, you are already asking for my life and compliance, a messenger of death at your ever calling needs. But to take the last bit of strength; my love for her would mean the end of me. I won’t be any good to you without my reason for that vengeance!”</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The legend was well known with everyone as far as three countries all around. No one went even 100 miles of the location let alone step foot within the home. By this point any house would have started deteriorating i mean after almost 100 years of being vacated and ignored for the most part; it should be falling apart but this home stood. Its gray stone walls high, the windows dusty and broken in many places; others boarded up and cobwebs easily could be seen forming around the peaks of the home. A mansion locked up solid behind iron and chains not that anyone would have bothered with it anyway it was just one of those things; you know it, you acknowledge it and you forget it and avoid it as much as possible. This was an ongoing theme of the small town until she arrived. 

She smiled slowly to herself as she looked up at the abandoned house; there was something about it; something that drew her near and she was determined to find out what after twenty years of tales and rumours she wanted to know for sure - she wanted answers. There is no way this place is haunted or able to possess such stories, there must be something dragging these on she thought to herself, Taking a huge breathe she grabbed the bolt cutters from her bag as there was no way she was going to attempt to climb over the walls or gates that surrounded the property. Honestly no one went near it anyway so she wasn't worried about being caught.   
Clink the links on the chain holding the gates together gave way as she assumed they would; they had long since rusted besides who knows exactly when they were added to the gate or why. She peered up into the darkness surrounding the house as she opened the gates to step in and that was when she saw him. A darker shadow amongst the darkness within the home just a silhouette of a person through the window. Gasping she stepped back and tripped on the chain she had just dropped to the ground she took another huge breath and looked up again at the window and saw nothing I'm scaring myself she thought it was probably just the reflection of a tree or something shaking her head to clear the thoughts of someone within the home. She felt a shiver run over her whole body, she may have convinced herself that no one was there but that didn't stop the feeling that she was being watched, she had goosebumps forming on her arms and the little hairs on the back of her neck stood on end. Wrapping her arms around herself she picked up her bag placing the cutting shears back in her back and threw it onto her back stepped forward. 

No one had ever dared to come near; the ominous presence of the house alone made sure of that, so when Tommy heard the echoing of rusty metal screaming under the pain of sharp metal he knew someone was coming within his property. Curiosity got the better of him as he stepped up to the nearest window located in his study and peered out at what looked to be a small human female, mid to late twenties easily. She seemed nervous if her falling back was anything to go by but she was also sure of herself - she wanted to do this for whatever reason and she was determined to proceed into his home. Placing his Guitar down on its stand on the left wall he went to the hallway where he had a huge bay window, it was easy to see the whole front yard without being seen in return and he watched as she stepped in and closed the gate behind her, no easy way out now he thought as a small smirk made itself known across his face. He could hear her heartbeat getting faster as she came closer, the slow turns she did looking across the yard alerted him easily that she felt she was being watched but he couldn't look away. He was fascinated by this daring human and he wanted to know more. Closing his eyes and focused on the sound of her pulse the beating of her heart and followed the pumping to her brain which had thoughts running in circles. She was scared and nervous still even more than half way to the home, This he already knew due to the pounding of her heart beat but trying to listen to a scared individuals thought pattern was like trying to understand a two day old baby - it would be impossible unless you knew what to listen for. He focused on the stronger emotion and followed the thought Its so dark, i could have sworn someone or something was there, but that's impossible it's been vacant for over 100 years - or so the stories go - oh god i should leave I should turn around, but I'm already half way here i got to finish this! I will solve this and tell everyone they need to grow up its time to tear this place down or fix it up and sell it i'm sure it would go for millions easily He sighed, so there was no deterring her She was set. In that case; i shall make a welcoming for my guest he shook his head and walked down the rest of the staircase into the huge foyer She would be at the door any second now and He doubted she was going to be knocking.   
This is it She thought to herself as she looked up at the door in front of her, the paint had started chipping long ago, it would be so easy to strip the paint and varnish on the patio and door even the window ledges were falling down and looked to be fitted with hundreds of different mold species if that was at all possible. Sighing she looked up at the door and thought briefly about knocking but really what's the point the place was supposed to be empty. Still she left herself invading into someone's private life what if someone did live here? what if they didn't want to be disturbed like ever and that's why they kept themselves completely hidden from everyone? but a small part of her mind yelled that someone would have seen someone coming or going at some point; how would one live without food so it was impossible that someone currently resided inside. She took another breath questioning her sanity completely for doing this, i mean really what was i thinking Placing a hand on the door handle she turned it and felt it let go.

"Hello? I'm coming in!" she yelled into the darkness. 

When nothing stirred she let the breath she had been holding go. I knew no one would be here, I can't believe how stupid I'm being Turning around the Foyer she noticed the beautiful surroundings. With a little touch up this place would be absolutely stunning! like a palace for a princess She thought. Dropping her bag to just inside the door she reached in pulling out a flashlight and turned it on; throwing a few extra batteries in her back pockets just in case, we've all seen those horror movies where it always dies in the spooky places and she wanted to be prepared. She moved the light around the open space noticing the white spiral staircase in the centre, the big bay window just above the door with many doors all along the walls, She noticed the huge chandelier and looked for a light switch finding one just a few feet from her she clicked it and sighed. I knew there wouldn't be any electricity but i had hoped her thought stopped and she spun moving the light to the opposite side of the room following a noise she was sure she heard but nothing was there. 

"Hello?" She called again.

She was sure someone was in the house with her and it wasn't her crazy imagination after all she still felt like someone was watching her and this was now twice that she had seen a shadow of a person and she definitely did *NOT* believe in ghosts, There is no such thing as ghosts someone must be here she kept repeating to herself hoping that eventually she would believe it. Turning in a circle she scanned the rest of the open space but noticed nothing out of the ordinary just a once extremely beautiful room which had fallen into shambles - a shame really. She decided to start with the main floor and walked into the first room to her left noticing a very large kitchen. Two stoves one with a cracked front window were hanging open to the far right, black marble counter tops cracked all across the far wall and a little island with a stainless steel stovetop in the middle separating the door where she stood and the far wall. Turning and shinning the light to the left she noticed a black chrome fridge pretty much in pristine condition beside it was a beautiful cherry-oak wood vanity and china cabinet with a few chipped dishes of fairly high quality, probably worth a few hundred due to the antiquity of it. 

She walked a little further into the Kitchen and noticed a beautiful dining area just past the stoves through a door, the area was like a sun room, two of the walls made of glass overlooking a garden that was still in full bloom ok, that's a little weird - a garden still blooming in this location and with the heat waves we've been having? Maybe a grounds keeper? She turned and walked from the room the shiver returning as she walked back through the kitchen. Feeling a little creped out by the garden she went back into the foyer towards her bag, reaching inside she pulled out her pocket knife she usually carried on her for safety she said to herself and placed the knife in her left sock for easy access in all situations. 

So the kitty came prepared with a pocket knife Tommy thought to himself chuckling softly If there was one thing he knew even after all this time; a pocket knife was nothing to fear. He watched as she explored more of his home; the living room to the right of the stairs across from the kitchen which hadn't been used in such a long time the furniture was grey with dust and about an inch thick on all the tables and shelving units. There was never any reason to use any room but his study - That's where everything was, is guitar, a bar fridge, a hammock, his life in a box essentially. As long as his study was pristine he cared not for the house itself even his bedroom had lost its luster after she had her life taken from her, and his rec room where he had spent all his time with his bands performing had become so full of memories he no longer held he lost that life years ago, five years ago to be exact. He noticed her heading for the stairs and quickly remembered that his study had not been closed off and that was the one place he knew he could not let her freely venture into - the rest of the house fine whatever. but the study was his and his alone.

She headed for the stairs and started up them by about the ninth step she felt a chill swept over her and she wrapped her arms around her shivering slightly looking behind her she shines her light upon the bay window checking for any cracks or breaks the might explain the sudden gush of wind she had felt but unlike most windows in the home this one was still fully intact. not a crack or a panel loose or gone completely. She focused her light back in front of her and peered ahead up the stairs but nothing had changed, She took a few more steps before she heard a bang nearly falling over she quickly threw her arms out and grabbed the railing losing the flashlight in the shock and slip. The drop must have knocked the battery lose as she couldn't find where it had gone, she wasn't sure if she should continue or run for her life by this point she had frozen herself in fear to the side of the staircase, luckily the railings seemed to be sturdy still or at least the one she was leaning against, the left side was rocking back and forth slowly as if something had disrupted its stand. 1, 2, 3, 4, She closed her eyes counting slowly to ten as her psychiatrist always told her she should try doing to calm herself, not that she usually did but this called for desperate measures 8, 9, 10 … and Breathe … and Fuck it's not working! What the hell someone is in this home that is the only explanation, a beautiful fully looked after garden, silhouettes of someone, running, breeze and eyes and.. and.. and.. She started to have a panic attack, nothing was working to calm herself and it was getting hard to breathe. Closing her eyes, she sat on the stairs leaning against the railing Just for a bit, just try to …  
Something wasn't right, He could feel the spike in tension within the home, he shut his eyes and focused on the small female just feet from his door, her presence had grown it was easy to see she was panicking. He zoned in on her train of thoughts again …'ning, breeze and eyes and.. and.. and.. woah, dizzy gotta... yes solid seat .. good .. just relax, just for a bit, just try to get your bearings and then we run, hard and fast - away from here this is as far as we go and will ever go' So she was leaving Tommy sighed he hadn't realized that he had hoped she wouldn't leave, there was something about having another breathing warm body within the home made it almost livable again - almost. He unlocked the door to his study and stepped out placing the old fashioned key back in the lock and turning it slowly to the left, no point scaring her more; he listened closely and heard the click of the bolt sliding into place before turning and looking down the stairs. She was wobbling slowly before almost in a matter of seconds she started falling, like in slow motion he saw her shift just a little too far to the left and start to tumble off the step and back down the stairs Without thinking he rushed down to her. 

~*~

Everything went silent before it was like watching the room spin upside down and washing back and forth under me; My eyes shut hoping to block out the motion and that was about all i remember i must have blacked out and as i started to fall i felt like i was floating this is a new sensation i remember thinking i was as light as a feather slowly drifting, but i was comfortable - if not a little cold - i felt safe and scared all at once my mind screamed at me that this wasn't real or possible but somehow i was raising, i could feel each step going higher and higher into the house. Opening my eyes slightly took so much effort i was unable to focus or keep them open for very long but i had managed to figure out that i was being carried by a stunningly handsome individual, very pale before I had blacked out completely. 

It was the humming of a vibration and the soft deep voice that brought me to, Not sure how long she had been out for or where she was. with a groan she turned to head towards the sounds that had woken her attempting to peel her eyes open, They felt like they had been cemented shut so she knew it had to have been hours that she was out of it. Getting one eye cracked open she looked at the man standing not five feet from her, He was tall about 6 feet, skinny but not overly so and very pale. His eyes a beautiful golden brown like melted chocolate mixed perhaps with just a touch of honey and his lips, so pink and perfect. Who is *that* she thought to herself taking a moment to look away and around the room …and where am I?? It was the second groan that capture his notice and Tommy turned providing her with his complete attention.

"You're awake, would you like something to drink?" 

He smiled handing her a glass filled with she could only assume was water. She took the glass feeling its coldness washing over her slowly from the tips of her fingers down her throat when she took a sip, it was working to wake her up completely. She turned back to him noticing him finishing up on a call 

"I didn't think anyone lived here, I'm assuming this is your home?" She asked, talking was hard her throat raspy from the dust and not having used it for some time. 

"how long have I been here or.." blushing slightly she finished correcting her sentence with a simple "out" fairly quietly with you watching over me she thought to herself. 

She would not allow herself to divulge any information to him that he might possibly use against her. Turning to look at her Tommy smiled placing the phone back into his pocket; he rarely used it but when he did it was always only for a quick couple of minutes. In this case he used it to call an old band member asking for assistance. She had drank about half the glass before questions started running through her mind but she spoke only two. 

"Yes this is my home, no one has dared come near so I felt no need to redecorate I was not expecting company." He answered, She could easily hear the amusement in his tone, "as for how long the sun had risen and set only to rise just hours before your eyes graced the world once more".

He turned from her and walked towards a window across the room from where she lay. He didn't step into the light at all but he shifted the dusty curtains just slightly so a small pillar of light crossed the bed. She could feel the heat of the sun's rays just warm enough to make it feel comfortable before it hit her as to what he had said. 

"Wait! I've been here, knocked out for two days!? And you didn't think to call an ambulance or something how do you know I wasn't in some kind of danger, maybe a coma or something!" 

Her rant trailed off slowly at the sound of his chuckling she felt her anger spike higher before slowly edging away at the look that had spread across his face I wish I could watch him smile and laugh all the time, he's absolutely gorgeous she blushed as she realized where her thoughts had trailed. She took the glass she had been holding and finished the water that was in it setting it down on a side table to the left of her. 

"you know it's rude to laugh at someone who is as confused as I right?" she questioned, her delicate eyebrow raising just slightly. The look seemed to bring him around as he stood and walked closer to her bedside 

"my apologies" He whispered looking a little ashamed of himself. "I figured you were fine as I had caught your fall before you hit anything, plus your heartbeat and breathing was steady, normal. I had not attended to be rude" He stated a bit louder answering her unanswered question within the rant she had started on minutes ago. "My name is Tommy-Joe Ratliff, You may call me Tommy" he said picking her hand up from the side of the bed where it rested and placing a simple chaste kiss upon the back. 

"Would you like something to eat I could perhaps find something as I am sure you are hungry" the growl of her stomach answered for her before she even got her mouth opened. Blushing she nodded turning her head to look away from him. 

"Chicken, if you have it" she answered "or something chocolate? Chocolate always makes me feel more myself after a blackout".   
She turned to look back at Tommy as he nodded his head, an expression of deep thinking crossed his features like he was contemplating what he had available or what he could come up with. And perhaps he was thinking both, after all he had admitted it himself that he hadn't expected anyone and no one had visited for some time. Just as I was about to inform him not to worry, that I would be heading home he smiled at me 

"I'll be right back, just stay there and rest" and he was gone, No time to say otherwise or to even shake my head. I couldn't help think how sad and lonely his life must be; being in this creepy home all alone, not to mention with the amount of dust and grime on top of the deterioration it was obvious he didn't use most of the home So why do you need such a huge house to yourself? Why do you have no one visiting? She couldn't help the millions of questions running through her head none of which she could think of a logical reasoning behind. 

About half an hour later she heard a board creaking and she sat up. She had started to drift off to sleep once more and looking towards the door she slowly got off the bed and tidied her hair and clothing no sense looking like a slob Though what she really wanted was to take a nice hot bath and put on a fresh set of clothes, brush her teeth all the wonderful hygienic stuff she hadn't done since before entering the home. 

"Oh, You're up, out of bed I mean, that's great you must be getting your strength back" 

I had grown to recognize that voice in such a little amount of time it kind of scared me but I couldn't help the smile that crossed my face at Tommy standing in front of me holding a bag which looked to have a full BBQ chicken and sitting on top in a clear plastic container was the most amazing thing my eyes had set site on not including Tommy the back of my mind whispered at me as my mouth began to water at the slice of double chocolate devils cake drizzled with caramel and more chocolate. 

"Tommy …. I .. I dunno what to say" I took the bag from him smiling as he reached in his pocket and pulled out a plastic fork with wet wipes and a handful of napkins. 

"I wasn't sure what to get and figured it had been a few days since you last ate so" 

He let the sentence trail off as I opened the chicken and ripped a piece off, chewing a mouthful I closed my eyes and just enjoyed the flavour of the juices and seasoning mixing on my tongue it had been so long since I had a decent chicken since I ran away from home and I couldn't afford to spend $20 on a simple chicken to last me all of two days. Sad really. Opening her eyes she looked towards Tommy, he hadn't moved from the doorway into the bedroom but he was definitely staring at her while she ate she could feel his eyes upon her with each bite it seemed he held his breath awaiting something. 

"Would you like some Tommy?" I asked after eating the rest of the leg which I had torn off previously I was so wrapped up in eating and the smell of the chicken making my stomach ache that I hadn't even considered the possibility that he might have been hungry and that was the reason he had gotten such a huge chicken. 

"I .. uh.. Ate, before you woke up; so I'm not hungry, please eat as much as you'd like" he answered walking into the room, he sat down at the foot of the bed and continued to watch as I ate half the chicken and the whole piece of Cake.  
Looking slightly ashamed at the amount of food I ate I looked up towards Tommy at the foot of the bed, he looked so perfect sitting there, it was natural for him to be there it seemed he had not a care in the world. 

"I should get going, thank you for the meal and for your hospitality - really, I am lucky to be alive as I'm sure the fall down the stairs probably would have broken my neck and I'd hate to eat and run, but my roommate is probably worried" I smiled up at him.  
Not that i actually live with anyone who would care she thought but as much as she loved the company of Tommy the whole situation bothered her thoroughly, it wasn't right something was wrong and she couldn't quite place it. She knew she had overstayed her welcome in the "I'm a stranger" mind set but it didn't stop her from thinking she might attempted to come back and speak with Tommy once more; under happier, welcomed circumstances. 

"so uh... Yeah well... Thanks again" I said shifting to the edge of the bed to stand up, Tommy had made no move to stop me, he didn't even acknowledge that I had spoken to him if I was being honest with myself but I didn't want to think of the hurt in my chest at the thought of being ignored by this man. 

"..'t go" 

The words were softly spoken, I had barely heard, I was almost sure I was imagining them but something in the way it was said made me stop at the door, I turned to see Tommy still sitting on the bed the same as he had the whole time I was eating, 

"I'm sorry? Did you say something?" 

I was unsure if maybe it really was my imagination that had made me hope to hear him stop me but I wasn't overly sure if it was real or my mind. His eyes turned to me and he shifted his hair out of his eyes looking me full on it was haunting, beautiful and I felt like he was looking at me, and yet through me all at once.

"Please don't go" he repeated a little louder.

I knew I had heard him this time, if only for the fact that his lips had moved to speak the words my mind was begging him to say. I swallowed the lump that had formed in my throat still unbelieving of my ears, running my tongue over my lips which had suddenly gone dry, I had frozen myself at the door frame with my heart pounding fast in my chest. I reminded myself I needed to breath that i didn't want another episode in front of Tommy, he had already done so much for me the first time but it was the movement that snapped me out of the daze I was in and I let out a breath of air I had been holding in from the moment he had re-spoken those three words. By the time I looked up, getting my surroundings back Tommy was standing right in front of me, his eyes a darker chocolate brown now and his hands raised up either side of my head holding the door behind me closed, there was no escaping now and I suddenly realized I really didn't want to, in this exact moment all I wanted was to hold him, kiss him and never leave his side. 

"I... I should go though, my roommate" I whispered, my voice it seems had abandoned me.

I knew I should be scared, a stranger was pinning me to a door in a supposedly vacant house that no one even knew I had come too. He smiled softly down at me as I looked up at him, maybe he knew I was lying, but part of me whispered in the back of my head how if he had wanted to kill me he would have a while ago when I was passed out, or that he wouldn't have caught me. 

"You don't really wish to leave" his voice was low, deep and very seductive I couldn't help the shiver that traveled down my spine at those words. 

"It's not..." I never got to finish what I was going to say before I lost all thought process beyond the feel of his lips, firm and cold pressed solidly against my own. 

It wasn't rushed or forceful but it wasn't passionate either, however that didn't seem to matter to my body as a moan broke from the back of my throat causing my lips to part briefly which was all the invitation he needed before his tongue slipped into my mouth exploring. Another moan shook its way through my body as the kiss deepened, somewhere my mind was screaming at me but I couldn't hear it as my body lost all control eagerly giving everything up to this man pinning me. 

I don't know how long we had been kissing but at some point it was broken and I stared at Tommy as he rested his head against mine; forehead to forehead. Panting I lowered my hand, at some point I had raised it to tangle into his black hair, it was soft and silky as it slid from my fingers. Blushing I dropped my hand to my side and just stared back at him Crap, shit, fuck now what am I supposed to do I couldn't help the thoughts that had run wild in my mind, I knew I should still try to leave but part of me - the part that was winning out - wanted me to stay and kiss him some more. 

'' I... Should uh...'' my words stopped as he shook his head.''Please, don't say you need to leave again, I don't want to lose you'' I smiled as pulled away from the door, the uncertainty, the hope and the rejection in his voice and eyes made my heart melt and break, he was being honest and sincere, he really didn't want me to go and if I was honest with myself, i didn't want to go either.   
''What if I promise to come visit regularly, every day?'' I asked I really didn't feel like being kept hostage but if he was willing I would definitely make my way back.

''or you know; I could move in, we could renovate this place and make it beautiful again....'' 

I trailed off as I saw his eyes go from excited to hurt to unsure before they closed off completely. I sighed before turning towards the door, he made no attempt to stop me as I opened and stepped out into the landing, looking around I noticed about another six doors easily on the upper floor. 

I knew I would be back wither I wanted to admit it or not even if he allowed me to or not; the house and its many rooms I had yet to explore excited me, as did the man of the home. His dark mysterious ways, his beautiful soulful eyes, his voice dripping with sex appeal and his hair; my fingers twitched to run through them once more. Taking a deep breath I gathered my willpower to leave; one step at a time, I stayed close to the left side of the staircase this time it seemed sturdy enough during my fall the first time this place needs to get lights and its windows fixed it's not safe for any inhabitation I thought as I reached the bottom step only slipping briefly on the last three stairs. Glancing up behind me I smiled to myself, the door to the bedroom was still pulled from when I left and no movement was made I was both happy to be leaving and torn that he wasn't stopping me again, I admit part of me really wished he would never let me go - my dark angel. 

I couldn't help the shudder that ran through me after she left the room the hope of her words and the determination of her mind made me crazy to think that maybe I could start over again; actually re-renovate the place, but I wouldn't hold my breath on it; I couldn't put my trust into such a human child; lady or not, she was still younger then I. Her spark drove a knife through his heart, made him remember things long since forgotten.


	2. Chapter 2

His soul lay dying and his vision filling with blood as his muscles contracted in pain and anger, his mind flashing with fear as he draws a breath into his lungs. His mind races with the images of his loved ones, he knew what he had to do, what he must to all those who stood in his way taking him from his future, love and life - "They must be defeated, all who wished harm onto my loved ones must be destroyed, to feel the pain of a million knives cutting slowly into their flesh." He thought. Any who wish to challenge him will wish they hadn't; "This is the power of rage, and the promise of revenge." 

In that moment of his life he sealed away everything good, honest and true he felt in his vow to seek justice for the pain that was caused upon himself and his loved ones but after years, they never were caught and with years came age, sorrow and happiness, everyone lived on after him especially her – Contessa, his first true love. He had thought in that moment he had lost her but she lived on, was then married; had children and seemed genuinely happy with her life, that is until he followed her to his grave stone, a marker in the ground, cold marble glistening in the rain of that fateful reunion years after that never should have happened. If it hadn't, perhaps she would have lived to see her children wed, and grandchildren which had always been a pure dream of hers; a large family filled with generations, to live long enough to see at least two or three of them herself. 

Contessa had knelt down beside the rock that many believed to represent him the love and pain that crossed her face made him act without thinking at the time he hadn't quite come to terms with the whole situation although he clearly remembered the promise he made to her not less than a five years and two months prior to this meeting. I'll never cause you that pain you've felt previously, say you'll live with me forever live your dream with me at your side? Will you marry me?" Her eyes shone with tears then, but different then this time; then they were happy, now they were saddened and hurt I am causing you pain after promising you I wouldn't he thought as he watched her reach a hand out and trace his name upon the cold marble, a shiver went through her and she reached into her purse grabbing out some Kleenex and whipped at her tears drying her cheeks 

"Tommy my love, I miss you every day, you promised me forever but I didn't think it would be you watching me forever while I lived on. I know I keep promising to bring the girls but I am unsure how to explain it to them; one is yours, I never got to tell you; that day you purposed, I was expecting, a whole 2 months along I'm sure you would have been a great father truly" He couldn't help it anymore after hearing a confession of hurt, love, pain and a family he stepped out not thinking he wanted to offer her comfort instead it seemed to have scared her.

"Tommy!? No, Can't be … you're…" The shock in her voice was clear as he carelessly stepped out of the shadows"Hey! It's me, I'm really here" He smiled slightly to her he could see her debating whether to stay, run to him or run from him. 

It was obvious that she honestly believed him dead like the rest of the town; he couldn't figure out why exactly as far as he remembered, he had gotten hurt and was determined not to let go; he figured it was what a coma patient probably felt like; there but not, alive yet thought dead. Then one day he just woke up, stretched and started walking around; that was until the screams and the disbelief of the citizens; friends, neighbours, even complete strangers all were scared of him and unsure. 

"That's impossible…. You're dead! And if you weren't then why'd you wait until now to show up again! This is a cruel joke" Contessa screamed.

He could see the tears threatening to fall from her eyes as the shock, pain and uncertainty crossed her face, the hope and despair, love and anger it was clear she felt everything, every emotion possibly known to human kind at that moment. Taking a step forward Tommy held his hand out and watched her struggle with whether to reach out or flinch away; she chose to flinch and Tommy had to fight the urge not to feel hurt, really if everyone thought him dead it only made sense right? Besides she was married now, and yet she still came to visit his supposed grave site, that had to mean something right? Surely it was something more than just having a daughter together, it still had yet to sink in I have a daughter? A life created from my seed living and breathing? What?!   
"I am here, I can't explain how but I had thought I lost you, I was determined to avenge you, me everyone; it wasn't until a couple months ago I noticed you survived; how did you.." He trailed off as he saw her shaking with tears, without thinking he reached out grabbing her and pulling her into an embrace, comforting her as he once used to. The sobs shook through him as he held her close running his fingers through her hair as her arms wrapped around his torso clinging tightly. 

"Shhh, I'm here now, its ok." He whispered into her hair as she continued to hold on and shake. 

~*~  
Sighing Tommy stood from the bed; he had heard when she had left, the door echoing within the home that he built with his previous love. After Contessa had stopped her uncontrollable sobbing she leaned up kissing him; it wasn't anywhere what they remembered from prior to the accent but it didn't make it any less special or passionate, he remembered asking about his daughter and her laughter rang throughout the night like old fashioned wooden wind chimes, beautiful and magical. Whipping her eyes on the Kleenex once more still wrapped in her hand she reached into her purse drawing out a wallet filled with photos, sitting on the grass Contessa had pulled him down and started flipping through all the pages it was easy to tell which child was his, the life that she carried and brought into this world it truly was a miracle after all the pain and suffering they had experienced prior but this bundle was beautiful with black ringlets of soft flowing hair, the soft pixie like face, she had delicate features. 

"She's beautiful" He whispered gently running a finger over the plastic covering.

"You are so brave, bringing her into this world, it must have been so hard for you" 

It was around this time that his hatred and revenge started to get under control, he felt his love for his woman starting to return. The beauty of her had only intensified as motherhood and age showed upon her features, along with the pride and strength she had to display he couldn't help but love and admire her; she was beautiful inside and out. 

"She was 23 months when I met Ryley, He was kind to us and she took to him right away. So young at the time that she didn't even realize the difference being only five she still doesn't realize that he isn't her real father, I want to tell her, Ryley thinks it's better not to alienate her within the family though; the story is that we were seeing each other and he married me because of her; our little Angel." She smiled up at Tommy her eyes showing her mother pride and the sadness of having to lie to such a beautiful innocent child.   
"Do what you have to, this Ryley I take it he also believes me dead?" He asked, perhaps a bit harsher then he intended if the flinch was anything to go by. 

"I'm sorry, just you don't realize how hard it's been, thinking I had lost you and in a way I did to another man but then to live in the shadows afraid for anyone to notice me" 

He smiled sadly at her remembering just 5 years prior how everything seemed to have been in place, happiness was easily manageable for both of them. She reached into her shirt pulling out the delicate chain around her neck, there dangling at the end of the chain was the engagement ring he had given to her when he promised her everything.

"It's been close to my heart ever since, you have been with me always just like you promised" she softly answered 

"But I didn't keep everything I promised; I have caused you pain unlike no other" he answered half regretful and yet thankful she had held on to it, a constant reminder of his promise; those kept and those broken. 

She reached up touching his face softly, turning his eyes back on her and smiled up at him. Neither needed to speak as he leaned in and softly touched lips once more, he knew he shouldn't, she was married how could he compete, how could he ruin a beautiful life she had created. I shouldn't be doing this, if Ryley caught me oh my god what am I doing?!?! He could hear her voice screaming but how could that be? Her lips were still caressing his so she couldn't be speaking out loud. It was then that he realized that by thinking the same thoughts, focusing in on her, he wasn't completely human otherwise how else could he explain hearing her thoughts. 

"We shouldn't, you know this as well as I. I don't want to ruin your relationship, and you don't either" Breaking the kiss he shifted away he sighed and stood up brushing off his legs. He smiled down at her lending a hand to help her to her feet, he tucked a stay hair behind her ears and kissed her forehead lightly before turning and walking away. He could hear Contessa start to cry, her voice echoing not to leave her again before everything went silent as he got far enough away from her but he could still hear her voice echoing inside his head, her pleads and heartbreak, but he knew it was what he needed to do. It was time for her to move on, and he should let her. 

Tommy looked around the room he had shared with Contessa during their time together; after he walked away from her that night she preceded to come around, showing up at the door to the house under the belief that he would still live there for various reasons, the most obvious being that people thought him dead how could he get another place. He was lucky enough to have realized that although the place passed onto her upon his declared death she didn't decide to move in with Ryley and from the looks of things at the time; she hadn't attempted to sell the home either. She spent a good two years going back and forth between Tommy and Ryley even went so far as to spend a few weeks sometimes months at the home they created together reliving memories, creating new and just living each moment together in the moment, "no regrets" became a motto they choose to live by. They even painted the words in various rooms within the home, some hidden, some quite obvious but always present. 

He remembered after about a year, begging her to bring her kids, or at least little Angel. He didn't want to live his life not knowing his daughter even if he was introduced to her as 'mummy's friend'. Contessa promised she would bring her by, she felt it only fair in the end, he didn't know how she did it, but she managed to convince Ryley and she showed up one day with this beautiful little girl, her hair in pigtails and golden eyes staring up at him in wonder. 

"Angel sweetie, this is Tommy, Mummy's friend from years ago" Contessa said smiling up at Tommy watching his reaction, she had a feeling he would rather be known as Angels father but was mostly just willing to take any introduction, that was the kind of man he was, kind, caring compassionate and most importantly a family man great with kids. 

"He's actually .." she paused slightly at Tommy who was shaking his head whither it was because he knew what she was going to say and didn't want her to say it or because he just didn't want her to finish the sentence as he truly was happy enough just being 'mummy's friend', 

"… It's because of Tommy that you are here sweetie." She finished looking at her daughters eyes. 

"Is that why I'm not like them? They make fun of me for being different" She looked at Contessa the question hung in the air as Tommy looked from mother and daughter. 

"They said I was adopted" she continued. 

"Oh sweetie" Contessa hugged Angel close to her, 

"You are not adopted, your sisters are just picking on you I will speak with them, however you are only related by half to one, the other girls are known as step sisters; I will explain when you are older" Tommy couldn't help smile, how she handled Angel was beautiful, he knew she would be a great mother but never expected her to be honest and to the point with her children. It isn't always an easy thing to do, most parents would ignore the questions or brush it off but she tried, she really tried to make it simple, easy and honest. 

Meeting Angel was like nothing he expected, he didn't expect Contessa, to introduce him as her father but when she did he couldn't help feel pride run through him; and when Angel spoke, it was like the angels were singing, soft, innocent and beautiful but the words she spoke sent pain into his heart. Such a little girl couldn't possibly be picked on, and by people claiming to be her family. It must be the older ones I saw in the photos, Ryley's girls. They had a family of six, four girls, Contessa and of course Ryley, only one was actually of Ryley and Contessa, the youngest. 

"Daddy?" He looked down to see Angel staring up at him bringing him from his thoughts. Kneeling down he smiled at her as she stepped closer to him reaching a small hand out to touch him, exploring. 

"why'd you leave mummy and me?" she asked, so soft, so innocent Tommy looked up to Contessa to see if she had any thoughts; he couldn't exactly tell her that he was pronounced dead and that her mum had never told him she was having his child. The look on Contessa's face was one of amusement, clearly she was wondering how he was going to get out of this one. 

"Well, there was some complications" he started, looking back at Angel who had sat down on his knee, "you see, it's not that I left your mother and you, but something came between us and it didn't work out." He could see her mind trying to understand to keep up with what it was he was saying. 

"So God gave you different paths?" She asked looking up at her mother, God!?! He followed Angels eyes up to Contessa questioningly. He knew he shouldn't enjoy it but watching her twitch and feel uncomfortable was slightly entertaining after leaving him hang previously with Angels last question. 

"Why don't you go play, see that room over there" Tommy pointed to a door two down from where they stood 

"there is games and toys in there you can play with, Mummy and I are going to talk" He lightly tapped Angels baby bum and watched as she walked to the room he pointed to previously. After they lost sight of her he turned back to Contessa 

"God!?" he asked, he promised himself to keep his voice calm since he didn't want to spend his first visit with Angel yelling at the woman he claimed to love dearly. 

"I thought you didn't believe in him, you use to always yell at those bible thumper type people forcing their religious crap down your throat, and she goes to church? Otherwise where else could she have heard such …" He couldn't finish, he was shocked at her. 

"She went with a friend; Ryley wanted to do the church thing and I told him I wouldn't be part of it; explained that Angel would wait until she was old enough to make her own choices. I have not given up on my beliefs, You should know me better than that" she answered 

"however, you are still here after being announced dead and Angel made it through when I could have died and lost her as well; I think there is some miracles at work here" 

"Look, I don't want to fight. Angel is beautiful, wise beyond her years, and yet so innocent. Let us not ruin that and this family reunion by arguing." He smiled over at the door where just beyond he could hear the giggling of a little girl, his little girl and the twang of a guitar string being plucked. 

"She's a musician" He laughed looking back to Contessa "but I think we should probably go see exactly what she is up to" he reached out while she grabbed a hold of his hand and they went to the door. 

"I told you she was yours" Contessa laughed as they neared the door she could hear the sound of the guitar strings being plucked   
"She actually plays with a toy guitar we got from JC Penny' s over pretty much every other toy she owns" she smiled up at Tommy as they opened the door to see little Angel walking back and forth along the guitar and bass wall plucking various strings on each one with her hand. The giggling got louder with each sound she did until the laughter became too much for each parent to hold in; She looked over to see them both at the door watching her before she started to laugh with them not to sure what was so funny. 

"Mummy! Listen!" She said between laughter as she started plucking the strings over again. "I playing a song for you!" The pride swelled in Tommy as he watched his child run between his most favourite guitars and plucking once in a while on his favourite bass. The actual song had no real beat or tempo but it seemed she at least grasped what each instrument did creating a very interesting song. 

"I never could sell this place, after they said you died, I would stand at the gates looking in, this was our place, our baby - one we did share I couldn't invite Ryley into our place he was so upset with me at the time; couldn't understand why I would make him get another place when this was inherited to me, he tried to convince me to sell it too but the idea of going inside, the chance of seeing all your stuff with dust collected, the thought alone hurt too much" she whispered keeping her eyes on Angel as she continued to pluck the various strings that she could reach. 

"I am glad now I didn't, it's like I was waiting for you to come back so we could live here again, you, me, Angel – in our house. Say we can Tommy? Please, I miss It here, I miss us, this house all of it" 

The look in her eyes and the pleading as she turned to face him was heart wrenching. He never wanted to break up her family but at the same time his heart already had his head nodding in agreement, he wanted her here with him, he wanted to be there for Angel and live the life they had dreamed of together. It didn't take long after that for her to move herself and Angel in after that, she let Ryley keep the other three girls and had decided to try and start her life over once more. 

Ryley had other plans for her, it wasn't long before Tommy's life was turned upside down again, only this time he really had lost Contessa, along with Angel. The echo of the shot went off before he realized what was happening. All he remembered in that exact moment was rushing into the foyer to see Contessa laying on the hard wood flooring holding her side as she looked up at Tommy before her eyes landed on the soft footsteps coming down the stairs

"No..." Contessa's voice rang out clearly over the second shot went off.

Tommy had rushed to Contessa falling to his knees just as suddenly as the scream echoed around their home. He looked up and noticed Angel's body start to fall down the stairs, as quick as he could he ran and caught her pressing his hand on the bullet hole that was now just above her heart. Her eyes lifted up, matching the pain and sorrow in his own eyes. 

"Daddy? What's wrong" She asked, reaching a small hand up to touch his face which was freshly shaven just that morning for the big plan he was doing. 

The whole night was set up for a big celebration, it was supposed to be a happy day instead he found himself holding his little girl who he only got to spend the last two years getting to know. Tommy walked over to Contessa resting her head in his lap carefully while holding his little Angel close to his chest. He watched as he saw the life leaving both of them, their warm hands going cold within his own. He watched as a single tear fell down Contessa's cheek and the once vibrate eyes of both girls in his life leave their eyes.

"Daddy, I'll wait for you" 

The soft voice rang out, dull and barely heard as he felt Angel close her eyes so like his own, never to open again. A soft gasp left her lips before she lay still, not a breath left in her body, her heart slowed and stopped beating all together while Tommy held her in his arms, a single tear dripping from his eyes onto her porcelain doll like face. 

"Don't leave me. Please not after finding you" He cried lifting the small eight year old body up to his face. 

Contessa had her head resting softly in Tommy's lap watching silently as Tommy's hands went white holding little Angel, she felt the struggle he was battling, the way he softly shook trying not to cry 

"don't leave me, not again, please" his soft words were barely heard on her, It was as if he was talking to her from far away. 

"Tommy, love" She lifted her hand, it shook with the amount of energy it took, she gently rested her hand upon his against Angels back, as a tear slipped from her eye she cringed as pain shot through her 

"She's gone, I'm sorry" closing her eyes softly her breathing got shallower 

"she ... She loved you Tommy, as do ..." she opened her eyes to look up at Tommy from his lap, he was still fighting back the tears but one hand had lowered to touch her lips. 

"Don't talk love, save your energy" He whispered. 

She managed a soft smile for him before her eyes closed letting the last breath to escape her body. It was all too much for Tommy as he saw her chest stop raising, he couldn't hold back the tears any longer, bending over he hugged both girls to his chest caring nothing for the blood that had long soaked into his pants, hands, shirt and pooled into a sticky puddle on the floor of the foyer. 

"RYLEY" Tommy screamed, he had long since run out of the house, he vowed with the echo of his voice that he would hunt him down and make him pay. 

He lifted Contessa's head off his lap placing it softly on the floor before he stood up still holding his daughter in his arms. He carried her to a couch just inside of the recreational room where she had spent most of her time plucking the strings of his guitars; he had bought her a small training one just last year and had started to teach her how to play upon the same couch she now lay. He threw a blanket over her before heading out to the back of his home; heading to the garden shed and grabbing a shovel. No one had known they were living there, Ryley had told anyone who asked that motherhood had just gotten to be too much, that she packed up and left taking only her daughter with her to God only knew where but he knew. 

Signing Tommy dug the shovel into a section of dirt under their favourite tree, one that was planted when they first bought the home years ago. He felt the earth give way as a second wave of tears shook him, digging two graves he had hoped he would never have to dig. He made quick work on the smallest grave for his Angel who was now with the holy father she seemed to have loved so much; now an angel for any who knew her. The grave for his love took much longer to dig, but the time both were done it was well into the next day, due to the heat he felt it was easy to assume that everything had probably only happened a total of maybe twenty-four hours ago, twelve of that was spent digging their final resting place between the garden Contessa loved so much, their tree that housed the little wooden tree house that Tommy was building with Angels help; a bonding project between the two of them, father and daughter. It was something Contessa loved to watch and take photos of seeing her two loves working hard to build a proper family after the distance. 

It didn't take long for the garden to wither and the tree house remained unfinished for months after he buried them in the space between, a simple polished stone engraved with their names rested upon the grass that had grown over the mounds of dirt now covering them. He never did follow through on his vow to whoever would listen, Ryley lived in his home with his three girls, and continued to tell the same old story. As much as Tommy wanted to kill Ryley, he couldn't face putting his girls through the loss that he felt, he couldn't take it out on them, instead he made sure that Ryley was reminded every day about his crime sending letters of love and endearment from Contessa to him and the girls, the girls had no idea of the truth, but Ryley was reminded every day by the girls talk of how their mother loved but left them, and family members commenting about how even though she felt she couldn't handle it she was still trying and even went so far as to include in a letter how she had actually left to work and bring in more money for a better future making her seem the honest hardworking individual she always was. Ryley couldn't prove otherwise, somehow their joint bank account was getting money transferred in and letters saying otherwise, all of a sudden Ryley was put into a bad light and Contessa was a wonderful mother. 

Ryley eventually broke down years after; living with the guilt or the constant reminder Tommy didn't know but the news of how he went crazy declaring that Contessa was in fact dead and that he knew because he was the one to put a bullet into her flesh gave him a one way ticket right into the padded room cell and his girls went into foster care. It was justice in its own rights and Tommy made sure that he would never love again, he finished Angel's tree house engraving an angel into the side in memory of her; and put whatever love he had left into maintaining the garden Contessa so loved. 

His physical pain in constantly working would be his reminder of what lost love could feel like, of course that had been years ago; he watched as his home fell to shambles, the tree house rotted and the garden bloomed, the only beauty left in years of cobwebs, pain and torture. 

Even now, 80 years later the state of everything had reminded the same, the only time Tommy ventured outside was to tend to Contessa's garden once every week, Often plucking a few to lay upon the polished stones. He figured this was how he would live out the rest of his life; until her and her promise to re-inhabit the house, he was excited and yet reminded of all the pain felt, and love lost within its walls; could he rebuild it? Replacing Contessa's presence? Was he finally willing to allow himself to love again?


	3. Chapter 3

She couldn't understand it, why had he shown such pride, excitement and hurt? She had hoped that he would have jumped at the idea of her moving in and fixing the place up again; especially after such a breath taking kiss, but maybe that was just hopeful thinking and the kiss of a desperate lonely man? Whatever the case was, she couldn't help feeling depressed as she walked out the front door heading for the link gate across the yard; had it really been so far away? She thought as she headed out, the walk to the street seemed to take longer that she recalled, course she was scared out of her wits on the way in and it was the difference of night and day. 

I feel like I've been in there forever she sighed looking back at the house, a wave of sadness washed over her as she hiked her bag further up on her shoulder and stepping out the gate onto the sidewalk. Life had continued around her obviously, and if she was honest with herself, nothing had changed even in herself. She still felt the same desire to penetrate the home she had just come from only now for different reasons. Heading towards the parking lot of an abandoned store she got into her car that had been left since she started her track, she never quite realized just how depressing and abandoned this part of town was, it was almost as if the house had caused everyone to pack up and leave this end turning it into a solidary ghost town. 

Throwing her bag in the back seat of the car, she focused the radio onto her favourite station before pulling out of the parking lot heading back downtown Lindale towards her single bachelorette flat, she didn't live in such a rundown part of town but it was the cheapest place she could find in a slightly better location then the slums. She had her casual break ins and broken windows but she never left anything of value out, money laying around or anything that may tempt someone to actually steal from her, one of the first things she got with her first pay check was purchase a small, easily hidden safe. Unlike in movies she didn't hid it under the bed, in the floor or behind a poster, to be honest she left it out kind of in plain sight but no one had even attempted to access it. She pulled up to her parking spot, getting out of her car she grabbed the backpack in the back and locked the doors before heading up the fire escape to her little home. She was lucky to find such a cheap place on her small salary from waiting tables at the local bar only two blocks away. 

Opening the door she walked in throwing her bag onto the couch in front of her before heading into the kitchen pantry where she kept all her closet stuff. One day I may upgrade to a one bedroom She promised herself, she had constantly been telling herself the same thing since she first signed an agreement for the small flat, sighing she took out a set of clean clothes and headed towards the bathroom on the opposite side of the living room. It was a small bathroom nothing fancy; sink, cabinet, toilet and a small stand up shower; she couldn't take a bath even if she had wanted to. She never did take long in showers, 20 minutes was average; 30 if she shaved. It wasn't her favourite way to wash and as much as she wouldn't admit it she was eager to get back to Tommy. She wrapped her long black hair up in a towel on top her head as she headed into the kitchen opening the fridge for something to drink, after half a chicken she didn't think she could eat for a while. 

"Nathanial! Oh God!" 

Great neighbours are at it again she sighed; she often felt she was in a college dorm with her neighbours on either side of her. It was a constant reminder of how single and lonely she was, she tried to imagine that it was just a movie playing a little too loud but Nathanial especially had a new girl at least once every two weeks, maybe even a week. He is such an unattractive player She thought as she grabbed the milk pitcher from the fridge and a cold glass from her freezer, Ice just watered everything down too much so she would often freeze a few cups once in a while to have a frosted cold glass of whatever she was in the mood for; milk, water, beer. Placing the milk back in the fridge she headed into her living room flicking on her stereo in the far corner of the room turning the volume up as loud as she dared to drown out her neighbour, he was a good guy, really he was, just a little too free. 

It was times like this she would have put on TV if she had cable, but she could never convince herself that sixty dollars a month was worth 100 channels that she would only ever watch maybe four shows on one channel: Cable it's hi-way robbery really, but sometimes. She sat down grabbing her book of the coffee table, it had been a while since she had last picked her book up so long so that she was only a few chapters in. Sighing she threw her feet up under her curling into the corner of the couch and opened the book to where she left off. It didn't take long before her eyes unfocused on the words and her thoughts drifted to the dark and mysterious male that had come into her life. 

I wonder what he's doing right now? When is too soon to go back would he think me weird or desperate if I was go back now really I only wanted a shower, clean clothing and I did promise him I would return. 

"Nathanial! Yes just like that" 

Throwing her book back on the table she picked up her glass and dumped the contents into the sink before picking up her keys from the tray by the door; If he doesn't want me there, I'm sure he'll let me know she thought as she got in her car, revved the engine and pulled out of her driveway across from her flat heading back towards the "ghosty" part of town. Anything to get away from her neighbours and the loneliness of living at home she had done what she went to do and really she couldn't stand to listen to her neighbour get his rocks off any more. She turned her radio on blaring the volume to help make her forget the sounds she had heard as she was leaving. 

He could feel her drive up long before the sound blaring from her car was heard, the tension she felt was like a siren screaming into his mind. Both happy she had returned as he was scared for her being with him again, Tommy headed to the front door, if she knocked again this time he would be sure to open the door as a normal human would. Although deep down part of him hoped she would just walk in like it was their home and she was just coming home from a hard day's work. A sad smile crossed his features as he thought of living a life, together with her, home cooked meals at the dining room table, children's laughter filling the air and a family night curled up in front of the fire place while he played his newest song on guitar or on the couch watching a movie the whole family would love and enjoy. A life that a few years ago he could have had if it wasn't for Ryley. It was the sound of crying that stopped him from drifting back into his memories of a happier time, he turned facing the door; Tommy knew she hadn't knocked in fact she hadn't made a sound up until the crying. He opened the front door to see her curled up on the front step her back to him as she shook with sobs.   
"The sky cries with you" He whispered coming up behind her, he wrapped his arms around her shaking shoulders and kissed the top of her head holding her. 

"Come, it's cold and wet out here let's get you warmed up" he sighed as he lead her inside closing the door with the underside of his foot. He lead her into the living room just inside the foyer, taking her over to a couch he removed the plastic cover and let her sit one the soft black leather. 

"Stay here, I'm going to get you something to dry off with" he said turning and heading back out of the room. 

Tommy wasn't sure she had even heard him, there was no reaction, no words or even a change in her tears and shaking. He grabbed a towel from the linen closet upstairs and shaking it slightly to make sure it was dust free he heading back to her, she hadn't moved yet still curled up on the couch where he had left her; he draped the towel over her shoulders rubbing her back gently, partly to dry her, partly to comfort her, but mostly because he didn't know what else to do. 

"Do you want to talk about it? What happened?" He questioned still not raising his voice more than a dull whisper. 

"…lone" Her words were just as soft only with the harshness of her tears it made it difficult to actually hear. 

"I'm sorry?" He didn't want to pressure her but he wanted to let her know that he at least understood she was trying but he just hadn't heard her. 

"I don't want to die alone" She repeated a little louder, raising her head to look at him. 

Even with her eyes rimmed in tears and red from the crying she is beautiful he thought as he wiped his thumb over her cheek bones drying her tears. 

"I hate it, I live alone, I've been alone so long, when I lived at home my mum ignored me, dad was never there; I took care of myself and raising my brother. He doesn't even remember me though because I ran away, did you know I was 10 when I ran away? Yeah, I just couldn't take it anymore, my brother he was only 4 at the time. But I made it, I mean look at me I have my own place, a crappy job and I'm not pregnant, hell I don't even have a boyfriend. But my… my neighbour, he… they… both of them always have a new fling every week" 

it seemed that once the words were spoken she couldn't stop the rant from flowing from her mouth, the hate, anger and distaste at herself, and society in general. 

"I hate them! They give a bad name to men, and the women how could they degrade us so much, we should all just die well all but you… You're different, kind, handsome, a real gentleman and yet you're so far away I can't figure you out, one minute you're kissing me the next you look like you want to forget I exist and your eyes, they go distant – far away. I don't understand, what did I do wrong; why am I being punished for all the hell I've gone through…" 

Tommy couldn't take it anymore he reach over hugging her tight to his chest lifting her head just slightly with his hand on her chin before he leaned down capturing her lips. It wasn't heated or passionate like last time, if he was honest it was a little sloppy from her wet tears and the overwhelming emotion he felt mixed with the fact that she was mid-sentence when he kissed her.   
"That's cruel" she said breaking the kiss "using your lips to stop a girl from ranting and crying" she shifted slightly so she had more contact with the arms holding her. 

"I am sorry for the interruption, but that is all I am sorry for. You are a beautiful, strong and independent woman and I was not attempting to quiet you so much as I couldn't hold back anymore" he answered. She could feel the arms tighten slightly around her and a slight shaking she knew wasn't coming from her since she no longer was shaking since she had started ranting. Something in the way he said it made her believe every word even without the added physical attributes but having that added bonus just made everything that much more believable and it was something she needed right now – to believe in what someone was saying as the truth. 

"Come, I have some dinner in the dining room available for you, I wasn't expecting you to return so soon so I apologize that it isn't much" he smiled at her standing up and offering a hand to help her. 

He lead her into the dining room where the table had been cleared of all the dust she recalled from her previous look around the home just days before. Upon the table sat a single plate, the leftover chicken, a bowl of green beans and a vase with a single blooming rose, the lights were dimmed slightly and she could hear music playing faintly in the background if she listened hard enough. Nothing soft or romantic, just every day, break the silence music. Just past the dining room table she noticed the sky getting steadily darker through the bay window. 

"I didn't think it was so late, I'm sorry to have barged in once more" she whispered, something about the peacefulness of the room made her not want to break it, and it seemed that speaking to loud would do that in a heartbeat. The tranquility of the room was perfect and it just seemed like anything she said or did could break that perfection. 

"Come now, it is not that late, sit I will grab another dinner set" he responded squeezing her hand before finally letting it go and disappearing into what looked like a small pantry and emerging with another plate and silverware. He pulled the chair closest to her out, guiding her to sit down, his hand upon her lower back before sitting across from her. "Would you like anything more or will the chicken and green beans be enough?" he asked lifting half of what was left of the bird onto her plate and grabbing the other half for himself. Really it wasn't much just like he said, a quarter of chicken and a handful of green beans. "The beans are fresh, picked right from ou… my garden" he corrected himself as he lifted a few beans onto his plate. He wasn't sure who our was referring to, him and Contessa's or his and hers really he didn't want to think about it too hard. It was his garden and his home and may forever be just his since he couldn't convince himself to take someone's life from them even in the sense of joining together as a couple. He had vowed that to himself as he finished burying his family; Angel, Contessa, and him were supposed to live happily ever after, instead they had been ripped from him after he took them from their happiness and lives. He turned their worlds upside down and then lost them forever. It was a punishment he would forever have to live with and as he patted the ground around their bodies he repeated the same lines in his head over and over making sure he believed it – Never again will you take a life under your wing beyond your own or else you may be burying them too. So far, for the past 10 years it had worked perfectly. 

"I should go, you seem distant again, lost in thought" she whispered as she watched him across the table from her, she had eaten half of what was on her plate while Tommy still had yet to touch his at all. She had seen a look of contentment and pride briefly before his eyes grew distant and shut off once more. Something about how often it happened made her wonder if something had happened very recently that he was trying to deal with another part of her realized no one had been around in many years if the dust build up had any indication at all.

"Tommy?" She stood and walked over to him, he had shown no indication that he had heard her when she spoke, placing a hand softly on his shoulder she used her free hand to turn his face towards her. She repeated his name a few more times each time a little more panicked and slightly louder. 

"Tommy?" a Flash of recognition went through his eyes as he focused on her face. 

"Are you back with me again??" she asked as she leaned down kissing his forehead slightly. 

She wanted to run when he got distant, scared for what might happen or what it could mean but instead she found herself comforting him much like he had done just moments before, except instead of a crying shaking mess he was just distant, unfocused and not living in the current place of mind, when that's the case, what is there for someone to do. How do you bring a complete stranger back from the depth of their own haunted mind. 

"Look, maybe I should go again, I love being here but it seems that perhaps it's just not the time" she stated, she had resorted back to speaking quietly as she slipped her hand from his shoulder, turning to go she was halted when a larger hand grabbed her wrist.   
"Tommy?"

"Don't go, please" His pleading eyes caused her to nod her head. It's just like last time, he stops me once when I try to leave, but if I try again he'd probably just let me go she thought as she used her free hand to remove his from her wrist. 

"I uh, I could use the company" he whispered as she stepped closer to his slouched form. 

"Come, you haven't eaten anything perhaps you'll feel a little better, I promise I won't leave this time" she answered as she went back to her chair. 

"…I killed them" He whispered, ignoring that she had even spoken at all. "they wanted to start over, be a proper family and I let them, I was excited that I could have a wife and child again after so long being in the dark" 

"Tommy? What are you talking about, you're scaring me" 

I couldn't keep the tremble from my voice. She had felt a shiver go down her spine at this first words. "What do you mean you killed them, are you a murderer? Will you kill me too is that why you won't let me leave?" 

"NO!" His voice was loud, harsh before he slumped again looking at her 

"I wouldn't kill anyone but I cost them their lives; there is as much blood on my hands as there is on his" 

He hissed the last word as he looked up at her again, the scared look on her face and the tremble in her voice didn't go unnoticed to him but somehow he couldn't stop it. It was like a story waiting to be told, and something about her screamed 'let me help carry this burden with you' that he wasn't able to stop from telling her, no matter how much he may have wanted not to. 

"They, we… you see, I was injured, no - more correctly; I died. I know it's hard to believe it but I really did. And I thought I had lost her, my Contessa at the same time. I guess my hate, my vengeance is what kept me going. But Contessa, I had lost her. Not to death but to a man who couldn't treat her right. She was carrying my child, my baby girl! My Angel. I didn't even know."

A tear had slipped down his cheek and she fought the urge to reach over and wipe it away. Something about the situation was off, it was like he was in a trance, Death, Contessa, killing, Angels This guy is losing it! I thought as I watched him fighting a complete breakdown. 

"Then she came back to me, she hadn't forgotten me, and she explained Angel was my daughter and she begged me to take her back, to make a happy family and I said yes. I couldn't stop it, I loved her but he did too, they were married and he showed up pistols in hand and he… he … he shot her, Contessa lay on the floor, her blood soaking into the wood and Angel she was coming downstairs, she looked beautiful her white dress and golden ringlets bouncing around her face. She was wearing a tiara too and singing softly but then the red, it spread, her dress was no longer white as her blood flowed. Contessa's final scream rang in my ears as I grabbed onto little Angel; she was only 8." 

His tears flowed down his face and his hands were being rung like he was trying to wash his hands with water only there was nothing to wash or any water to clean. She hadn't realized she had started to cry as she stood up and went over holding him tight. Whatever he was reliving whatever he was sharing with her now she would not interrupt it and all she could do was hold him as he had held her.   
"Their blood soaked my shirt, my hands covered in the sticky fluid as I held Angel to my chest she whispered ever so quietly that she was going to wait for me but I'll never be able to go. I am stuck here and Contessa, she didn't even try to fight it. Why would they leave me?" He looked up at her pleading her for an answer. 

"It wasn't your fault, you aren't a killer Tommy! And you'll get to meet her again, both of them if you just believe. I'm sure they are with you always watching over you. They'd want you to be happy" she whispered. 

I wasn't sure what exactly to say, it's not like I knew these other people or if he would even hear what I had to say but I felt like I had to say something, anything to try and relieve some of the pain he was forcing himself to relive.

"I buried them myself" he whispered looking down at his hands red from the frantic scrubbing, he eyed the calluses across the palm of his hand, a mix from his guitar playing and from when he had dug the holes. 

"I can still feel them, their dying breathes while wrapped in my arms, the warmth of their blood… soaking into my chest, my jeans… did you know if you look closely you can see the stain on the wood" 

He raised his eyes to look at me, the tears had stained a path down his cheeks but they seem to have stopped, I wasn't sure what to do anymore as I watched him 

"I scrubbed it for days on my hands and knees but it wouldn't come up, after that I stopped caring. About the house, my love, everything except my revenge. And I got it" He laughed slightly remembering what he had done to Ryley. 

"He told everyone she ran off, the she was a bitch and didn't care about the kids except her own bastard child, but I wrote notes in her name for two years to him and the kids. I knew enough from what Contessa had told me in our short years together. I couldn't let him slander her name when no one even knew she was dead. He went crazy, he's locked up now after exclaiming the letters were false because she was dead even confessed that he had killed her but no one believed him. I couldn't kill him though, I couldn't take the father away from his girls. They needed him… so young … so carefree and oblivious… I couldn't have a broken home on my hands as well as my own families blood." He sighed as he rested his head down on his hands 

"I couldn't do it but somehow I still did I still broke that family apart in my revenge" he repeated quietly before finally losing contancesness. 

By the time he had finished telling his tale I couldn't hold back the tears any more, I was glad he had exsausted himself so much that he wouldn't see me crying. 

"Oh Tommy, you've been living with this for so long haven't you? That's why you get so distant" I whispered as I kissed the top of his head.

I went into the living room and found an old blanket. Taking the blanket I threw it over his shoulders and lifted his head to place a pillow I had picked up on the way back to him under it, It wasn't the best solution but there was no way I could carry him into a room to lay him down properly. His back would be sore tomorrow but at least he'll be warm I thought as I turned the light off completely, grabbing the cold chicken from the table; he honestly hadn't eaten any of it but by now it would probably be a bad idea to eat it. She threw out the left overs into a garbage pail in the corner of the kitchen and placed the dishes in the sink. Not sure what time it was she figured it was best to leave doing the dishes until the next morning instead choosing to wander the rest of the house she had not yet seen. 

She headed back into the foyer, after his tale she could easily see a spot of wood even in all the dust and decay from neglect where it was slightly darker and odd shaped. She wiped at the tear that slipped down her cheek as she walked over the stain and up the stairs, She knew the room straight ahead was a bedroom since she had been in the room what seemed to be years ago but was only a few days past. She turned eying a door that had a small flicker of light coming from under it. Placing her hand on the door knob she turned it only the door didn't open, she checked around to see if there was a key anywhere with no luck. Sighing she turned, there is still about another oh, 5 doors she thought as she headed in the opposite direction. 

One of the rooms was a bathroom it had two sinks with marble counter top and a large marble jaccusie tub in the corner with the option of pulling glass doors across for a shower though with that kind of jet tub anyone wanting a shower would be crazy. The linen closet was just outside the door filled with large fluffy towels of various colours, blacks, blues, yellows, even some pink ones. Beside it at the end of the hall was another locked door, but if old house models were anything to go by, it was probably the door leading up to the attic. 

Across from the bathroom was another room filled with standard bedroom accessories, most likely used as a guest room when needed. The bed was still perfectly made and other then a clock and two end table lights there was nothing in the room. Leaving the last room she turned back towards the room she did know, there was one last room she hadn't been in. She stopped in front of the last door, this one was beside the room she was familiar with, the outside was a light pink colour and it was easy to see that at one point a name was printed in glitter on the outside. Without even knowing the story she could easily tell this was a child's room, lifting her hand she slowly traced the remaining parts of the letters "A" "E" "L". She dropped her hand and turned the handle opening the door to a room painted to look like a forest, her small bed was hanging from the ceiling as if she was floating on a cloud, her different furniture was mixed to look like the ends of trees, A bookshelf made of tree branches, her dresser was a tree trunk. It's like a fairy princess' house in here She thought as she wandered into the room. It was obvious that she was loved she sighed as she placed her hand on the bed, the room was dusty and everything was scattered as if it was still being played in if not for the dust. 

"I couldn't bear to do anything with the room" a voice said behind her. Turning with a slight jump she faced Tommy, he hadn't come into the room, just stood at the door looking in, he didn't look upset then again, he wasn't really showing any signs of emotion. 

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't be in here, I …"

"Don't worry, I'm ok with it, she was our princess. I did everything I could to spoil her and after how short our time was, I'm glad I did" he smiled sadly at her walking into the room. He knelt down picking up a small doll, its dress brown from being dirty, it's one eye no longer blinked like the other and the hair was matted and in disarray. 

"This was her favourite one, went everywhere with Suzie" he used his thumb to clean a small section of the dolls head off before kissing it and placing it into Angels bed. 

"You seem like you were a great father, I'm sure she was happy to know you" I walked over to him placing my hand on his back. 

"I'm sure Angel is with you and I'm sure Suzie is content in bed" I said smiling up at him. 

"Did you mean it?" he asked softly, "you know, about you moving in, fixing the place up and living here with me?" 

"Of course" I answered. "This place looks beautiful in shambles, I'm sure it will be stunning in proper repair."

"I promised myself not to take anyone away anymore, I vowed never to jump into something…" 

"I understand" I interrupted, and I did, after losing everything due to 'stealing' someone away, who wouldn't make that vow 

"But there is no one you are taking me from, I have no lover, I have no friends, my family has disowned me, I come with no baggage, I promise" I turned his head to look at me so he could see I was telling the truth. 

"I don't want to keep living in the shadows, working and going home to my walls rattling, and I think you should stop living in the past. Let's help each other move forward, ok?" I leaned up kissing him briefly, when he tried to kiss me back I laughed softly 

"not in front of the children" I answered, winking up at him before I walked out of the room pulling Tommy along with me. 

I closed Angel's door before leading Tommy into the room next to it. I don't know what I expected or even if anything would come of it but at the same time I wanted to lighten the darkness. To show Tommy that I believed in him and as much as I shouldn't, that I wanted him, 

"This is a room I know is safe" I whispered as I kissed him, wrapping my arms around his neck holding him close. I felt him tense slightly before wrapping his arms around my waist pulling me closer to him, deepening the kiss. He broke the kiss long enough to take me over to the bed, laid me down on it and then he followed, laying on top of me before kissing me again, his arms holding his weight up from crushing my chest.


	4. Chapter 4

The sun streaming in through the window woke me from my sleep, it had been a while since I had was able to have a proper night's sleep and waking up to the sun beaming it made me a little grouchy. I didn't want to wake up, the weight on my arm and across my stomach reminded me of the fact that I was not alone, that last night really had happened. 

After years of being alone and carrying my past, I had spilled everything. My band mates had tried, Contessa had forced us all to get along, and then eventually after her death, they had all stopped coming around since they could get nothing from me. But in only three short beautiful days, she had gotten everything and accepted me still. 

She is beautiful, stunning inside and out he thought as he looked over at her, her head resting upon his arm, her eyes fluttering slightly in sleep and her arm rested across him, breathing steadily. Leaning slightly Tommy kissed the top of her head, a slight movement that caused her to stir. 

"Morning beautiful" he whispered lifting her head slightly to kiss her lips. 

"G'Morning" she answered, sleep still mixed into her words. She sat up and stretched before realizing the way she had been sleeping, she blushed slightly at the thought of being curled up in Tommy' arms. 

One of the best night's sleep I've had in a while She thought as she rubbed her face with her hands 

"Coffee?" She asked, her words muffled by her hands. She was still too embarrassed to look at him fully. 

"Let me go get some" he smiled, sitting up he shifted her hair before kissing the back of her neck softly 

"even first thing, you are beautiful" he whispered before shifting and getting out of bed. 

At some point the night before he had thrown off most of his clothing, the only indication that nothing had happened no matter how heated it had gotten was the fact that they were both still in their under garments and she wasn't sore. His black briefs however could not hide his morning happiness. Blushing she turned her head as he got dressed, fixing himself so it was more confortable. 

"Get dressed, Coffee will be downstairs in about 20" he said before leaning over and kissing her head once more. He couldn't help the smile no matter how upset he was that he was woken by the sun, to wake with her in his arms, well he was willing to face anything to have that once more. 

As he left the room she got out of bed, looking around for her clothing, she reached under the bed grabbing her pants only to have a broken frame come along with them, sitting her pants on the bed she blew on the photo clearing the dust off. Coughing slightly at the cloud that had formed she cleared her vision and looked down at the broken photo, the glass had long since been broken and fallen out of the frame, the wood was splitting and falling away from the cardboard and the photo. 

It was easy to make Tommy out in the photo, his golden eyes sparkling and his lips forming a beautiful smile she had never seen grace his face, his black pants were slightly brown at the knees and he wore no shirt showing off multiple tattoos on his arms. On his shoulders sat a beautiful little girl with matching sparkling eyes and it was easy to see she was laughing. She wore a pair of purple shorts and a white tank top. Beside them stood a beautiful women, even with a smudge of dirt across her forehead, her long honey-blonde hair flowing around her waist and ruby red lips. Her eyes a bright emerald green rimmed with black eye shadow. Her clothing was slightly dirty and she wore purple flowered gloves on her hands, the knees of her light blue jeans had mud falling off.   
The image was of a happier Tommy, and looked to be taken just outside the home if the garden was anything to go by, and the lady, Contessa my mind knew it was her right away. She must have been working in the garden just moments before the photo was taken. She spotted a tree house in the background of the photo; and just beside the trunk of the tree sat a bunch of tools. 

"We were building that house, Angel and I" He whispered breaking her from her gaze on the photo. 

"Contessa, she loved that garden more than anything, we often teased she loved it more than us, Angel and I" He sat the coffee cup down on the bedside table, lifting the photo out of my hands. 

"You are all so happy there" I looked up at him 

"I'm sorry, it came out from under the bed when I grabbed my pants" 

"it's ok, I'm glad you got to meet them in a way." He smiled at me before he placed the photo down on a desk in the far corner of the room. 

"I was wondering what took you so long" he said coming back over to me. 

I had thrown my pants on when he had his back to me, walking over to the desk. He grabbed my shirt from the end of the bed handing it to me as I smiled up at him. 

"Would you like to see the garden?" 

I smiled up at him, I knew how hard it must be, and I was surprisingly enough, quite jealous of this past girl having such a strong loyal husband. How can one compete with the dead. Nodding I threw my shirt on picking up my coffee from the table, as much as it hurt him and as jealous as I was, I wanted to share in it. I wanted to know everything I could about him, before and now. 

"I'd like that" I answered "What came of the tree house? Did you guys finish it before…?" I couldn't finish it, but he knew what I was saying, if the sad look that crossed his face was anything to go by. 

"I'm sorry, I know this must be hard for you. We don't have to…" I let my words trail off, part of me hoped he was going to say he'd rather not but another part still wanted to know all I could about him and hoped he wouldn't turn me away. 

"No, we didn't finish it, I did later while the ground set, I worked night and day on it. It was a way to remain close to her after she was physically gone." 

He grabbed my hand, I squeezed it tightly letting him know I understood and that he wouldn't need to continue. 

"It might still be there" he answered smiling at me slightly before he pulled me out the bedroom door, down the stairs and out a back door I hadn't noticed before. It was run down and looked like a large broken bay window but surprisingly enough the hinges although squeaked still worked enough to open the door. 

He laughed slightly at how winded I was just from the short run through the house I couldn't help by smile up at him, his laughter was beautiful, like birds singing softly on a spring morning, my only thought was how I wish he would smile and laugh from the heart more often, it was breath taking. He smiled over at me, his laughter dying on his lips but his eyes still held a faint sparkle. 

His heart must be mending, I'm glad I thought as I pushed his hair out of his eyes, leaned up and kissed him, just a quick peck on the lips before I was looking around me, the yard was huge, and just as breath taking and beautiful as the picture showed. The garden was not as large and colourful but it was still in bloom with large roses and tiger lilies. 

"They were her favourite flowers" he answered, "and look, there is the tree house, still standing" he said directing my eyes to a large tree just a few meters away from where we stood. 

It was huge, the windows clearly showed they were carved in the shape of angels and the trunk of the tree had wooden slabs screwed in. A single rope dangled from near the door of the tree house and it was easy to see inside the windows a little table with a white sparkly table cloth. Upon the table sat a small tea set. 

"I bought the set for her birthday, I didn't get to give it to her so I thought, maybe she could use it up there" his soft smile showed that 'up there' had many meanings to him 

"She believed in him, in God" he answered, and since I believe in Angel well, I can trust she believes that's where she is, I still don't know. If there was really someone up there, why would he do so much negativity to me, to my life, it makes no sense." He sighed softly the light in his eyes had long since disappeared but he wasn't yet completely upset. He was accepting of the situation as anyone possibly could be. 

"I'm sure she appreciates it, and uses the set whenever she is visiting the tree house. After all it's her connection to you as well" I said softly giving his hand another squeeze. 

"Besides, whither you believe or not; if she believes then in your belief of her you guys will be connected; she believes from the other side and you believe in her from this side connecting each other in belief together" it wasn't strong logic, in fact it couldn't be called logic at all but the smile that graced his face made the statement worth saying. 

"Do you think it's strong enough to go up?" I asked letting his hand drop and starting to climb up using the rope as further support.   
The tree house was large from the ground, but being on the front step looking down at the worn out welcome mat it was still large but it wasn't as big as it seemed. Knocking softly, I pushed the door open 

"Hello, Angel? I am a friend of your fathers" I said stepping in. 

"Do you mind if I join you for a cup of tea?" 

I stepped carefully over to the table by the angel shaped window, a soft warm breeze swept through which I took as a sign of acceptance. I sat down on a stub that was the tables seats. I glanced around; he had put a lot of work on the interior of the little wooden house, the opposite side held a small couch and the corner was blocked off into a little room on its own with a small "woman" on the outside signalling that it was a woman's bathroom. The couch had two small pillows on either arm and cushioning on the bottom for more comfortable sitting. I picked up a glass and raised it slightly into the air fully aware of Tommy's eyes on me 

"To you, It's a pleasure to meet you" I said into the air as I lifted the glass to my lips pretending to drink the tea. 

I placed the cup back down onto the plate it had sat upon previously. I stood excusing myself and headed towards the bathroom, opening the door, the room was small, no way for a grown woman to actually sit comfortably and my knees stuck out the door but I noticed as I sat a small piece of paper stuck between the 'toilet' and the wall. Reaching slightly I pulled the paper out, Tommy had followed me up and was watching from the doorway, unmoving, it seemed that although had been in and built the house he could not convince himself to enter the small home once more.

I smiled softly up to him, my hands shook slightly as I unwrinkled the paper. A small gasp escaped my lips as I read the words written in crayon, the spelling wasn't the best but for a child who obviously was the one to write this, it was pretty good. I felt a few tears fall from my eyes as I looked at the words written and a small picture at the bottom. My reaction to the paper must have startled Tommy because he came into the room kneeling at my knees since he couldn't actually be in the bathroom with me. I looked at him, the tears flowing a bit heavier as he placed his hands on my knee, I held the paper out to him so he could grab it. 

Der daddy, the bad man cam. He said he wated us bak.   
He hugd me lik befor pomisng to relase us.  
I am skard daddy but the Father will lead me.   
Please be happy no mater wat. I luv u. 

Below the words was a heart and inside was a drawing she did the words daddy, mummy, and sister were written in her same childish writing over the heads of three stick people. Behind the people was what looked to be two graves, she had drawn two lumps and at the top of the lumps was a large two large crosses, one that read "mummy" and another with her name. It wasn't much but the message was clear, also it was enough for Tommy to fall from his knees, sitting on the hard wood of the tiny house. 

"She knew" he stared up at me being too big for the tiny room I was stuck unable to get out unless Tommy moved first.   
"That Bastard came here and …" 

I couldn't tell if he was angry or upset, I would gage both based on the tears flowing from his eyes, upset at the message his little girl had left him in a tiny room where he may never have found it until much later probably put there while they worked on the rest of the house, and anger at Ryley for scaring Angel, and for promising to hurt them. I think he was also a little relieved, the picture clearly was Angels way of saying it was ok to have a family without them. It was permission to continue living and being happy. 

"She wants a sister" I answered, "she wants you to live and be happy" I was speaking quietly but it was all I could do from my position. 

"How could she hold this burden, why didn't she tell someone we could have avoided this whole thing" he looked at the paper a small but sad smile graced his face as his hand shook holding the page. I leaned forward resting my hand on his shoulder. 

"She believed in a happier place, a place without pain where she could watch those she loved. A place where she would get real wings and be an actual angel, she wasn't scared of death, she was scared of what he would do to you" I answered, I wasn't sure how, but the words came out and I realized as I was saying them how true they were. He smiled up at me standing slightly slumped over and reached a hand out to me, helping me from the small room. 

"You're smart, I would love to believe what you say to be true" he smiled softly at me.

"I didn't make this big enough for adults" he chuckled pulling me forward. A soft breeze swept through the room when he pulled me close into a hug. 

"A warm embrace" he whispered. "Do you feel that?" 

I smiled up at him. 

"I do, it happened once before, when I asked if I could join Angel for tea, I'd like to believe it's her way of saying yes, or acceptance" I answered. 

I was slightly afraid Tommy would pull away after this, a solid hard core proof that he was once loved by his daughter, and a part of me worried he would lock himself in his hatred again at not being able to stop an unfortunate event from happening but another part of me knew that this was acceptance. The fact that I accepted him, what had happened. I was his strength right now and I was the voice and words he wanted to hear, connecting him with Angel and possibly even Contessa in a different light. Perhaps even help him to accept and move on with the past and live for the future; Be happy like Angel had wanted him to be. 

Smiling up at him I grabbed his free hand, it would have been easier to reach for his right one but I couldn't bear to move the drawing from his grasp. I lead him to the door; turning once more looking into the tiny home. 

"Thank you Angel, I am honoured to know you guys" I smiled closing the door behind me. 

"Tommy, let us build a home together, starting now" I smiled at him as we headed back down to the ground, picture still gripped tightly in his hand.

Over the next couple of days, She came by helping as she promised to fix the place up, restoring it to its former glory. She had even gone so far as to head to the bank, requesting a loan. Tommy had given her the deed signed over to her from Contessa which she took to get official. The Real estate agent sold it to her really cheap surprisingly enough. Most likely due to the stories of it being haunted and in all honestly, no one would want a place that would cost more to fix up then it would to buy it outright. No matter how beautiful the place could have been. Also with Contessa's signature giving permission for the home to be sold it made the whole transaction go that much quicker no legal documents or trying to track her down for permission to sell a home inherited to her by a dead lover. 

She often went home at least once a week to shower and change out her laundry for clean clothing spending a few hours cleaning up everything and even going so far as to buy groceries for the fridge. She had reactivated the electricity and hydro first thing with the loan and spent the first day after buying the place relaxing in the luxury of the bath tub. She had still planned on moving in but first she wanted to focus on getting it a bit more liveable beforehand; She would often take the different items; bed sheets, towels, rugs, cover sheets and clothing, home with her cleaning them up along with her dirty laundry. 

She called for an electrician to check all the wiring and breaker box to ensure everything was in working order along with a window and door repair place. Within two weeks the place was liveable, at least on the outside. The interior still needed much work to finish fixing everything. Tommy did what he could, hiding in his study when people were over, and at other times working with his hands, fixing the banisters, doors and other basic wood work. 

By the end of the month it was good enough to live in perminately, and she didn't much convincing to drive home, cancel her lease with the loft and rent a small moving van. Really the biggest things she owned was her bed and dresser, and the apartment sized washing and drying machine that she had kept hidden in her pantry, she never had that much food or clothing to fill it anyway.   
Sighing she took one final look around the room that had been her home for the past five years. The neighbours as usual were at it again and she couldn't help but smile; she would never have to listen to another argument, sex driven pounding, or anything else from them ever again. She turned closing the door and smiled up at the guy that the Moving company sent to help her. 

"Good to go" she said as she placed the last box into the back seat of her car. 

"oh one more quick stop" she smiled at the guy as he got into the front of the van. 

She knocked on the door to the first loft. Smiling at the little girl who answered it I wonder if Angel was as tall and pretty as her She thought as she asked the child if her parents were home. A fairly handsome man returned to the door after she ran into the home.   
"Hi, I'm just dropping off the key, for unit 5" Smiling softly up at him she handed the key out placing it in his hands. 

"I've cleared everything out and cleaned it as best I could" she responded before she turned heading back to her car. He was cute, I didn't know he lived here she thought getting into the front of her car, turning her keys in the ignition she looked up, he was still standing at the door, his hand wrapped around the key. She waved slightly, and pulled out of the drive way.

"Going to the old ghost house" she called as she passed by the moving van, 

It wasn't much of a ghost house anymore but people still referred to it that way, it was easier to just label it then trying to give directions or the address. Chances are they wouldn't find it by the address anyway. 

Turning out onto the street she turned the music on, and drove off towards the abandoned part of town. To her new home, new life and a fresh start, leaving the moving van to follow behind her or find their own way .


	5. Chapter 5

It was easy to move everything in, sitting most of the items in the large foyer she thanked the moving help and closed the front door behind them, watching as they pulled out of the driveway. She had still to fix the gate at the edge of the drive way but currently it was the least of her worries. Part of her wondered why she was moving in with Tommy already she had only known the guy for a month. She wasn’t really expecting anything but something about him called to her as much as she would try to deny it.   
“It’s safe Tommy” she called out however when she turned he was already there sorting through the different boxes by the labels on the outside of the boxes and looking to see what would go where without invading her personal space of course.   
“All the boxes labelled bathroom we’ll store upstairs, your bigger items I was thinking we could move downstairs; Set up your own home in the basement if you’re ok with that.” He smiled up at her.  
Inside she couldn’t help but laugh, she never did understand how he did what he did; knowing what she was thinking at times, move so fast. As the month went on she noticed little things that made his story about his death at much more believable. He didn’t realize she had caught a few of the strange behaviours like when he was working on the banister and he had cut himself, he had healed almost instantly, if she hadn’t turned to tell him to be careful she wouldn’t have noticed at all. Instead he had kept working and she put it out of her mind thinking it was a trick of light but more strange, unexplainable things kept happening. It was always little things, not eating or drinking as much, fast healing, moments where everything was just a little bit faster than normal but it caused her to keep an eye out just a little bit more.   
Nodding slightly she sorted through the remaining boxes with Tommy finding the different boxes and what rooms they belonged to, she shifted those for the kitchen closer to the door leaving the stuff for upstairs near the stairs.   
“I didn’t realize you had a basement, I mean I guess I figured but I haven’t seen it” she answered picking up a smaller box filled with various things she managed to hold on too from her childhood; toys, stuffed animals, books and other random things.   
Her mother always had called her a hoarder and a bit of a pack rat. Even throughout her moving she always managed to throw out very little and keep just about everything, this move was no exception throwing out only garbage and broken things. Half the stuff went into boxes and never came out again and she knew that it would forever sit in a box collecting dust but she still could not convince herself to throw them out. Part of her convinced herself that it would be a waste of money to get rid of anything well-loved like her stuffies, another part screamed that she would one day have her own space where she could unpack them all and put everything on display. Old art projects from school turned into a memory book like a photo album. Shelves upon Shelves of Stuffed animals, dolls and other toys from her growing up, or maybe even a net covering the whole ceiling minus around the light she could just throw them all up there and leave them on display that way.   
She always told herself even if she happened to get a spouse then she would always get a place bigger then needed and she would have one room solely to herself where she could do any and everything she wanted to the room, likewise to make it fair, he could have one as well. She’d have every poster she ever owned attached to the walls, all her displays out and he could have a room with his scantily clad women and workout equipment, a TV and dvd player for any typical male things that they like privacy for. Their perfect escape rooms from each other, a room to just relax, remember the single days and regret nothing. Would make it perfect for avoid fights because they would have something as his and hers instead of always theirs, us, and them.   
“follow me”   
Picking up a box Tommy smiled at her, turning and walking towards the stairs that would lead up. He stepped around it and walked towards another door hidden on the side. In an older home one would think it was a simple storage cabinet under the stairs however when he opened the door it was easy to see a set of stairs leading down into the darkness under the house. He shifted the box, freeing one hand to pull a cord above his head turning on a small dim light over the stairs.   
“Step carefully” He turned to face me   
“I’m going to go first, stay at least two or three steps behind me” turning he stepped down onto the first step, descending the steps slowly.   
I counted about five steps before I tentively took my first step, testing the stair before putting my whole weight down on it. You’re over reacting! He just went down all these steps, he easily weighs more then you, he’s male! My inner child yelled at me, I knew she was right, but I still went down perhaps overly cautious. I heard a small Click before a large room was illuminated in light, Tommy stood watching my slow descend with a large smile on his face.   
“I know I said to step carefully, but you don’t need to be that cautious” he called up a slight hint of humour could be heard in the undertone of his voice.   
Great, now he’s laughing at you. Reaching the bottom of the stairs I stuck my tongue out at him as I passed looking around the large room. It didn’t have much, to be honest other than a few boxes in the far corner the room was unoccupied by anything but it was fully insulated and could easily be liveable even. Well he did say you could make this your own little loft I reminded myself as I looked around. A double set of glass doors was across from the door we had just come through, along the right of the door was a narrow hallway with two more doors. I could easily picture a fully furnished home in the basement alone, the two doors could be a bathroom and bedroom, or a bathroom and kitchen. The double glass doors lead outside to a marble stone pathway leading up to the main backyard, directly in front of the doors just a few feet away was a pool.   
It was almost like this basement was more of a pool house then an actual basement and it made me excited to see what we could do for the rest of the house in the upcoming months. Placing the box he was holding on the floor in the center of the room he turned heading into another section of the room, I turned to watch him and noticed a small section blocked off, a door opened into a small kitchen and a window faced out into the room. Placing the box I was holding down on top of the one he dropped I walked over to the door Tommy had just gone though, the window was on a pulley making it easier to open and close it, easily used for passing things from the kitchen into the room without having to many people in the tiny space.   
The kitchen counters were made of a dark cherry wood and topped with a dark marble counter top much like the one in the main kitchen. The cabinets matched the counter with the same dark cherry oak wood and marble handles. The stove and Fridge were the same black chrome as the set upstairs and under one of the counters was a black dishwasher. Well I guess this solves the previous what rooms where question I thought looking around the small room, it wasn’t too small, enough for two maybe three people comfortably but definitely not large and it was easy to see eating would have to be outside or in the main room.   
“everything is fully functional from the looks of things; You can do as you wish down here, paint, redecorate, furnish. Think of this as your wing”   
Tommy smiled at me as he continued opening everything verifying lights were turning on, that the freezer was cold enough and burners were heating up. Opening and closing the cupboards showed a few odds and ends that had collected dust, a few cobwebs hung in a few of the corners   
“We’ll want to clean it all up before you unpack I think, but other than that” He faced me completely a look of happiness and perhaps pride came over his features.   
“It’s perfect” I smiled at him, The place as a whole was maybe 50 times bigger than my loft previously and the basement could easily fit probably five or six of my old loft inside. An added bonus was the dishwasher and the possibility of my own bedroom and of course my old place didn’t have a pool located just outside the door. Turning I headed back into the Living and dining area heading towards the hallway i had spotted previously, the first door on the right proved to hold a fairly spacious bathroom, a small claw foot tub with a shower head sat in the far left and corner, separated from the toilet by small piece of wall about two feet wide, beside the toilet hidden behind the door was a small linen area, a few shelves, a hanging bar and a wide section big enough for two dirty laundry hampers. Just inside the door across from the wall divider, spaced almost equally between the toilet and bath tub was a double counter with an old fashioned bowl-like sink and mirror on one leaving the other as a large counter top. I smiled at the room, it was large enough to be able to move around with comfort but small enough that only one person at a time could easily fit, two if you didn’t mind really close quarters.   
Stepping out closing the door behind me I turned facing the last door. Turning the handle the door opened into a large empty room, a small wooden desk sat in the far corner, a sowing machine sat on top layered in dust and cobwebs. Looking around it was easy to tell the room was dark since there was no real windows, it was a little depressing but for the first time since she ran away she had a room she could call hers - My bedroom, she smiled thinking about it; there was a door she could close to keep people out and a place she could sleep that wasn’t in her living room on a fold out couch.   
“It’s perfect” she whispered again.  
The look of shock that crossed Tommy’ face when she said that was quiet humourous, it didn’t slip from her view but she chose to ignore it in place of wandering around his basement, My house, My one bedroom apartment I can do whatever I want, I can finally put up my posters she thought trailing her hands over the walls and walking around.   
Tommy couldn’t understand her fascination with the small basement, not when she had full run of just about anywhere in the large house but the look of pure joy and child-like wonder that crossed her features made all thoughts leave his mind as he watched her scanning everything as if any second she was going to be ripped from this place of wonder. He couldn’t help the wide grin that crossed his face however and her emotions were running wild letting him catch snippets of her thoughts without even focusing or trying to. ‘my bedroom… my one bedroom…posters, is this for real … it truly is perfect…’ he chuckled softly to himself, there’s that word again ‘perfect’. Nothing is perfect beautiful just what you make it to be he walked over to her.   
“Come, let us get everything cleaned up and moved in for you”   
Her eyes turned to face him bright with unshed tears and complete happiness. She nodded up at him before spinning in a circle in the large living room, arms spread wide as if she was soaring amongst the clouds and stars. She stumbled slightly when her foot caught the side of the boxes they had brought down earlier but even in her clumsiness her mood couldn’t be broken, she reached her arms out grabbing hold of his arms and broke out into a deep laughter. It was quite a beautiful sound and Tommy couldn’t help grinning at her. This could work the thought crossed his mind unbidden and for the first time in so many years he wished to do anything he could to keep her close, to make her laugh and smile more often, anything - so long as he would let him.   
“…rius… Tommy!”   
Turning to face her he smiled. He blinked at her questioning look how long was I out of it he thought as he ran a hand through his hair sighing softly. I have got to stop drifting, I should live in the now, right here with her.   
“Sorry” He flashed her an apologetic look, “What were you saying?”   
At least he has the balls to ask and look sheepish the thought crossed her mind before she had a chance to really think anything though.   
“I was asking if I could do anything, truly anything. Paint and wood work, add walls and such, like a full renovation”  
“oh yeah of course, it’s your place; your wing. I won’t even come down without permission and knocking first” he smiled at her the thought of everything working out drifted through his mind once more and he couldn’t help the swell of happiness that raised in his chest at the thought. The look that crossed her face of pure joy and wonder made him smile and he couldn’t help the pride; after so many years he felt that he had done something right and oddly enough he didn’t feel like he had taken her away from anyone because she was living in her own house and had her own space. It was her decision if she wanted him in her life or not. She could live anywhere in the house or stay in her apartment within the home.   
“I’ll grab the rest of your stuff, and clear out the rest of the stuff from down here”   
Turning he headed back upstairs her slight nodding was all the indication he had that she had heard, still in complete shock and wonder of having a space all to herself. It’s a dream home, this is what I always wanted a section of a home that is mine, to do with as I feel she spun arms wide out in a circle again being sure to avoid the boxes she had tripped on previously.   
Her giggling was heard upstairs as he grabbed more of the boxes to take downstairs and he couldn’t help the soft chuckle that escaped his lips at the sound of her overly excited. Shaking his head slightly he lifted two boxes he had stacked up weighing how heavy and awkward it was before heading back into the basemen. When he reached the bottom he couldn’t help watching her quietly, the look of freedom on her face as she spun in circles laughing and giggling, sometimes catching her feet and stumbling slightly possibly from being dizzy on top of how clumsy she could be. He couldn’t help thinking how beautiful she looked and watching her he could think of nothing more than how young and carefree she seemed to be in that moment, something about how she was acting reminded him briefly of Angel They would have loved each other He thought, the thought had a very sobering effect on his mood as he shifted off the wall he turned going back upstairs; by the time he returned with more boxes he could see her flushed face, her head resting on her hand as she sat upon one of the boxes.   
“Must be nice to have a rest after one box” he teased, his voice however held a slightly more upsetting tone then he intended. A tone she had picked up on easily as she looked up at him a slight frown crossing her features while her eyebrows knitted together.   
“sorry I didn’t mean it as it came out” looking down he released another sigh, he sat down on a box facing her   
“it’s just, I saw you spinning, happy and I thought how much you and Angel would have liked each other; Contessa she loved Angel but they never played together, it use to upset Angel although she always denied it. It was easy to see, her eyes they didn’t light up when she smiled after telling us not to worry about playing with her. Never wanting to bother us”   
He rested his hands in his lap still staring down, he saw her shift slightly out of the corner of his eyes before he was wrapped within her arms, her chin resting on his head rocking him slightly. She sat there holding him for a good few minutes, no more then 5, with no words being said between them. She didn’t try to bring him back to the present but she didn’t leave him either, if anything she wanted to make sure he realized that she was there for him no matter what. She had no way of competing with Contessa or Angel and she didn’t want to, as jealous of the family they had and that Tommy would never fully be hers it didn’t stop her from wanting deep down to become part of that family, she didn’t want to replace it just join it. Their ghosts would forever haunt this home and his memories and try as hard as she might he would never let them rest and focus on her.   
He could feel her pain as she held him both comforting him and reminding him of his pain. She was trying hard to be there but at the same time he would catch snippets of her trying to convince herself she wasn’t worth it but still wanted it and her own self-loathing at the thoughts. All the emotions that its possible she didn’t even realize she was feeling deep down. She hated herself for wanting him, she hated that she couldn’t have him fully and she hated that she couldn’t do anything. And try as hard as he might, he couldn’t love her, he was sure he couldn’t even love Contessa and Angel at this point. When he died, it was taken from him, he wanted her although he couldn’t explain why. He didn’t love her – couldn’t love her - and he knew it caused her pain but he did feel something, it was something more than the pain and agony, the loneliness and revenge that he was previously living in – if you could call it that.  
I’m sorry, so sorry I wish I could return your feelings, I do but I can’t I’m sorry  
“Why are you apologizing? Oh Tommy you have nothing to apologize for!” He hadn’t realized that he had said the last sorry out loud. Her hands wiping at his cheeks clearing it of the tears that had started to fall from his eyes, she pulled him back into a tight embrace as he started shaking, pain lacing throughout his body before he blacked out as she held him, rocking him and singing softly.   
~*~  
“Should you ever wish to live again, these are the terms Tommy. Do you accept them?”   
“How can I accept that! You’re asking me to give everything for nothing!” My voice cracked, harsh as I yelled at the figure in front of me, his face hidden under a large black hood showing nothing of the man that had addressed me. How can I give that up? I was shaking easily with how furious I was .  
“That is the agreement, that is the deal. Are you really in a place to bargain with me child? Do you not wish to take vengeance upon those who have harmed your love? I would not be standing here if you had not called.”   
I couldn’t believe him, I called him? That I could not believe, sure with my dying breath I remember swearing pain and revenge but how was I to know some creep would show up. Offering me exactly that. A chance at life once more – correction, a half-life, living out the rest of the world’s life in darkness, pain and shadow.   
“Is there nothing I can do? Please, you are already asking for my life and compliance, a messenger of death at your ever calling needs. But to take the last bit of strength; my love for her would mean the end of me. I won’t be any good to you without my reason for that vengeance!”  
It was obvious that the harder he tried the more the man wanted his part of the bargain - all or nothing. I guess this is what it’s like to ‘sell your soul to the devil’ you give up everything you don’t have plus your reason for wanting to for nothing. It’s almost like a trick decision, they make it sound like your entering into a deal that would be a win-win but in reality you're in a win-lose and you're always on the losing end of things.   
"Please there must be something else? Anything?"   
The look that crossed the man’s face informed him that this was all, no more discussion and if Tommy read his features correctly then it was obvious that this individual was at the end of his patience."   
Nodding tommy looked up at the man only he wasn’t there any more, seconds after a bright flash of light sent him to his knees, his head clutched tightly within his grasp as tears sprang to his eyes. It was like someone was stabbing millions of little needles or knives into his brain, picking apart the various memories and sections of his mind.


	6. Chapter 6

The basement had become the perfect home for her, she had managed to turn it into a fun, welcoming and yet comfortable place to live; Spreading out her furniture from the small loft had proven just how little stuff she owned; or how large the home was. 

Neither had spoken of the night she had moved in; the last of the night was a bit of a blur; after Tommy passed out she had rested him into a position as comfortable as she could manage with him sitting on boxes against the wall. She had continued to move her stuff around him keeping as quiet as she could so not to wake him. Once in a while she would hear a wimper of pain, a twitch she worried would topple him from his seat and somehow she had managed to get the matress from her futon down the stairs setting it up at Tommy's feet and slowly moving him to lay down. Not bothering to dig through boxes to find her bedding she went and grabbed the sheets from his bed, tucking him in before disappearing into the small kitchenette to make herself a late night dinner, a very late night dinner. 

By three in the morning she had managed a small meal and set up the basic nessessities of her items around a sleeping Tommy, he hadnt moved or stirred at all since she laid him on the matresss for which she was grateful for, whatever memory had caused him to black out she wasnt sure she was ready to deal with. Sighing she pulled her shoes and socks off before laying down beside him on her bed, shifting slightly she blushed as her back pressed against his side. Grow up girl! You've laid in his bed before, and this is the only option right now she mentally slapped herself as she felt her cheeks flush from her blush. She felt him shift slightly behind her before his arm was around her waist holding her closely, she felt a quick exhale of breath ghost upon her neck as he released a sigh before his shallow but steady breath puffed causing a small shudder to ripple across her spin before the warmth enveloped her and she fell into a deep restful sleep. 

~*~

The smell of eggs, bacon and coffee was the first thing she noticed, followed by a small clinking of glasses and whispered curse words. Sitting up, the blanket slipped from resting on her shoulders to pool at her waist, her eyes adjusted quickly to the dull light streaming through the open kitchenette doorway, the sun was barely rising outside creating a slight rose shade to fill the space infront of the back door. Rubbing the back of her eyes she got out of bed looking around; Tommy had been busy, along with making breakfast, he had set up the living room with her couch, little TV and all its various furnishings; coffee tables, end tables, the old VHS/DvD player and there was a very eligant wood table sitting roughly three feet away from the kitchenette 

'Well that definitely wasnt mine' 

"Oh you're awake. I hope I didn't disturb your sleep?" 

I smiled at him as he came through the door, my old apron wrapped around him.

"No not at all, nice outfit" i smirked, sitting down at the table, eyeing how the dark red apron looked against the black clothing he wore underneath. stiffling a laugh i nodded, the white frills around his neck and knees matched with the words, although fading slightly from all the times it was handed down, made him quite the humourous site first thing in the morning. 

"So you like small Weiners huh?" I couldnt help commenting; of the three aprons i owned; he had taken my grandmothers play on words dashhound apron. My mum had bought it as a joke for her on grandma's fiftith birthday, she had loved it and when she passed away none of us could get rid of it. She had always made sure to wear the apron whenever baking and the whole family was over. 

Smirking he winked at me before lifting the spoon and sliding it across my face, the mix smearing across my cheek as i laughed at him. 

"It was the first one i grabbed from the box, didnt want pancake all over me unlike some people"

Sticking my toung out at him i grabbed a corner of the apron and wiped my cheek off before he turned heading back into the kitchen, i went to follow but he gave me a quick look shaking his head before pointing to some hooks on the wall. I laughed as i saw my other two aprons hanging up, my favourite one hanging clearly on the first hook visible for everyone to see. 

"What if i CAN stand the heat" i questioned him lifting my eyebrow to peer at him. 

"Oh honey there is too much heat in this kitchen for two people" Handing me a coffee cup filled with the hot coffee he pushed me towards the table. "Just sit here and stay out of my kitchen" 

"I'm pretty sure its my kitchen but if you wanna be that way" i took a sip of my coffee, relaxing into the chair as the heat travelled down my throat settling in my stomach. 

Breakfast was good, Tommy could cook quite well and I hardly ever ate breakfast unless i grabbed a quick bagel or muffin on the way somewhere so having eggs, bacon, pancakes and coffee all prepared and ready was a treat. 

 

"When did you wake up anyway"

I couldnt help wonder, if the sun was only just peeking then it could only mean it was still early, no later then seven A.M. 

"oh i think the stove said four thirty or something" 

Finishing my food i shoved the plate away looking around the living room again; it was pretty much fully set up, everything in its place and boxes were cleared out. 

"So uh, did you leave anything for me to do today?"

I eyed him slightly across the table. 

"Sure, i didnt really touch your bedroom stuff" he looked away breifly, my eyes opening as i recalled how personal that could have been, I was a young adult who hasnt had a boyfriend in such a long time, most of my very sexy undergarments and a few nick-nacks were all thrown into a box that had been shoved at the back of my closet in the old loft. Blushing slightly i turned to face him completely. 

"Didnt really?" I questioned; slightly worried.

"Yeah, like i set up your bed frame, moved a dresser in there and stuff but i figured i shouldnt touch the boxes you know, didnt want to come across anything i shouldnt" he answered 

Sighing i smiled at him "oh thank god, thank you, by the way the living room looks great" 

His shy smile disappeared into a large grin as he's eyes sweeped the area before nodding, standing up and grabbing the dishes from the table. Getting up I headed into the bathroom, most of the boxes that i had piled at the door the night before had been cleared out, the shelves were stacked and the toiletries were set up, the bathroom was fully stocked and functional. 

"I could get used to this" 

The slight chuckle from behind told me that Tommy had heard my silent comment and i turned looking at him, he had removed the apron and there was a slight dusting of the flower on the front of his manson T-shirt. 

"looks like the apron didnt help much" i chuckled as i brushed at the soft cotton trying to get rid of the white. 

"It was from before" he whispered raising his hand to cover mine stopping me in my movements, I looked up into his eyes, the golden honey brown reflected the light as he smiled down at me, he eyes lighting up as i blushed. His hand warm, firm and calloused brushed over my fingers in a light rubbing as his other came up cupping the side of my cheek softly, i tilted my head slightly resting against his palm.

'how had no one taken him, how had he lived alone so long' 

Shifting slightly i raised my other hand up, resting it at the nape of his neck, tangling my fingers in the little bit of hair there, holding my breath slightly as i prayed for him to lower himself to kiss me softly but filled with passion. I had hoped that we had finally made some headway, closing the gap between the pain of losing his previous family and maybe including me in his. But after a breif second his eyes flashed and he pulled away, stepping from between my hands. 

"I'll let you finish setting up" 

Turning he left, i heard his foot steps retreat up the stairs before slumping against the wall feeling defeated and rejected, not realizing that just above her, Tommy had locked himself in a room and slammed his hand against the nearest wall swearing at the top of his lungs; clearly aware of the pain he had just put her in, the feeling of being completely undesireable. He had heard her plea so clearly, her desire for him and his happiness had caused so much pain he couldnt help but turn away. 'Dont string her along, dont play her' echoed in his head. 

'Please let me in, let me heal you' 

Slumping against the wall he craddled his hand, bloody and broken from the force he put behind his punch. 

"I'm Sorry, I can't be healed, There is no saving the damned" 

The scream ripped from his memory.

"No, please No! I don't want this!" He cried clutching at his head, tears streaming down his face.


End file.
